THE DOOR

I wiped a tear as I limped through the house today. It’s not the first time yesterday’s events are making me cry just a little; I cried a little before I slept and call me a softie but I need to talk about it in order to get over it.

Let me start at the beginning; while on my way home yesterday we had a minor accident. The driver of the bus I was in was in a hurry to get to town during rush hour so they could raise fare for the hundreds of Kenyans coming from work.  We hit an oncoming vehicle and though not serious I did bash my knee pretty good.

How many people haven’t been as lucky as I have? How many people haven’t walked away with just a slightly swollen knee and a slight limp? All it takes is the mistake of one person and before you know it my mum is making phone calls and my sister is coming in from Mombasa crying all the way. Forgive me for being over dramatic or being so morbid on a blog that should bring smiles. Once again in a very short time I was reminded just how short the leash we are on is, it can snap anytime and you’re gone. Life is short YOLO I will not stop preaching this message; don’t put off what you need to do today.

When my brother went to America back in 2004 I was crushed, here was my best friend (I’ve got dozens) leaving I wouldn’t see him anymore, he wouldn’t’ call me anymore to tell me he’s hungry and needed something to eat. He wouldn’t hug me and call me mtoi anymore. All that was left was phone calls, emails and when it came about Facebook. But his girlfriend Rose reminded me not to worry we could always travel and see him. I sorta got used to it but now I miss Rose and I can’t email her, facebook her, tweet her or even call her because where she went they don’t have those things. Death isn’t like travelling. Death is so final and though one is left with this absence like when someone leaves the country there is no hope of a reunion over Christmas; once that door closes there is no opening it. I’ve got millions of words running through me just to stress how short life is but I’ll leave it at that.

The shortsightedness of human nature is such that we never say or do what we need to when we have the time rather when the opportunity is gone we start regretting saying “I wish I knew”.  You don’t know what tomorrow will bring so today do what you’ve been afraid to do, cross that bridge, say those words, forgive that person or ask for forgiveness. Live life such that when you look back at your life you will have no regrets.

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I’M BACK… FOR GOOD THIS TIME :)

*** DUSTS PAGES OFF MY BLOG***

I am the owner of a new attitude on life. Recent events have led me to believe that life is way too short to ever settle for less than what you deserve or think you deserve. YOLO my new outlook and I’m loving it!

A friend went through a rough patch with her “overseas” boyfriend after his mistress and I use this word with disdain called her and even sent photos of her and my pal’s man in all sorts of nasty positions: Thank God the camera was unkind and the cellulite was visible a mile away. First and foremost has the entire female population fallen down and hit their heads? I thought weaves provided cushion. I have been forced to suffer Matatu FM these past few weeks and needless to say am astonished by what I have hear.

So there I was consoling my friend while trying to convince her that the hit squad she was planning was way more than that man deserved. I have always had a policy on unfaithfulness I can’t stand it and I will not stand it.

At my age I cannot wear tube tops, drink from bottles and jump and down till the sun shines. Neither can I be bothered with a man who thinks I will chase after him and his torrent of campus girls. The shoes I wear cannot allow me to run after a man.

I also have no intention of starting a choir and repeating myself every time I feel offended. If I have to say something twice; you need a hearing aid not a girlfriend! I reciprocate by being just about the best woman you could ever hope for.

I believe I am a catch! Any man who reels in this fish from the sea is one lucky son of a gun and he best appreciate that. Granted good men are hard to find but try look for a good woman and all of a sudden those ratios of men to women will make sense.

My advice to my friend? Cry a little, lick your wounds, Pick yourself up and move on like that was just a minor bump in the road because that’s all it was. Bad relationships teach you to appreciate the good ones when they finally come along.

So if you’re out there feeling unappreciated don’t fret pretty girls are a dime a dozen but Good women come along once in a lifetime woe unto the person that lets You go!

 

MY KENYA

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At the height of the post election violence in 2007, I remember one day as the news ran seeing an image of two Mps from the communities at the heart of the violence seated in parliament, laughing having a cup of tea oblivious to the havoc and mayhem going on around them.

So this is my two cents on Peace in My Kenya; yes I said My Kenya because the next time people burn, plunder and just act foolish it is My Kenya that is getting destroyed. There is a reason I decided to wage a one woman war on Kenyan politicians and its because once again the wheels are in motion and tribal politics have kicked off.

A friend recently posted on his facebook “ we cannot have another Kikuyu president” he went ahead to put a disclaimer that he was not being tribalistic but I would like to point out to him that this my friend is the definition of tribalism.

I am just about tired of people treating me differently because of the color of my skin or where am from. Under this skin our hearts beat the same. I do not want a job because I understand a certain language, I do not want to be served differently because of where I am from. Where I am from does nor does it define who I am.

Just when will it sink into Kenyans that we are 42 communities who make up Kenya and each one contributes something special to the development of our country? Outside our borders no one cares whether you’re Luhya, Kisii, Borana or Maasai all they see is a Kenyan and it’s about time we imported this attitude along with all those Chinese products.

We like to blame politicians for all that is wrong with this country but just when does the blame fall at our doors? We vote this people in sometimes blindly. I have listened in silent horror as people told tales of how they voted. Having lived in an area that was occupied by one community and I was appaled when after the last general elections people didn’t even know what the name of their MP was. This was because when they got that ballot paper all they saw was the party and not the individual.

It will take so much to change how Kenyans do the things they do but if you and I took a conscious decision to make a positive change that’s two people more than yesterday.

I’m going to sing a song that’s been sung  and preach a sermon that;s been preached before but maybe if a few more people lend their voices to the choir we might just get through and witness a revolution.  Kenyans need to unite and fight for the kind of leadership we not only deserve but that we are capable of getting.

WILL YOU

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My friend Izzo  came to me and asked me the most romantic way to propose to his girlfriend. It was a really long time ago and they maybe well on their way to having their first born by now but if Izzo has been waiting for my ideas then I’m sorry for the long wait bro and here are your ways.

Izzo has been with this girl let’s call her Callota for 2 years.  Let me begin by saying her real name is not Callota which we shall shorten to Cal; however, I met a girl with the most beautiful dreadlocks at my salon and her name was Callota so in memory of mothers with bad taste in names for their children including mine Cal it is.

Anyway Izzo would like to make an honest woman out of Cal so let’s help him out: right off the bat let me tell you diamonds in food do not go hand in hand. It could end with a trip to the emergency room after she swallows or eats it.

I saw an interesting proposal where the guy slipped the ring on the girl’s finger while she was asleep then he left for work. It was a really good idea because he was pretty lucky to escape all her ooohing and aaaahing and tears and when he got home he was met with a nice cooked meal and happy female.

The dinner proposal in a restaurant is a timeless classic; if you’re a shy guy then these might not be a good move for you because all the diners with stop eating to see if she accepts and a few guys might be hoping she doesn’t. Word of advice: It is also good to know beforehand  whether she will say yes as this will help save face and keep your manhood intact.

You could propose at Kencom which would really prove your love for her in front of multitudes but the ring might be gone before she sees it so let’s stick to safer zones. A party with all her friends present and the surprise would be great gives her gloating material and makes all her friends envious so you win *thumbs up*

You could propose on a mountain, in a river or in a cave but all that counts is her response and true Love. I have soo many ideas for a romantic proposal but I’m also keeping an eye on my word count so I truly wish you all the best and may you hear a resounding yes when you pop the question. J

 

P.S. Let it be noted that in the almost 3 weeks it took me to write this Izzo has not yet proposed so let’s hope it helps him and Calotta appreciates all the hard work I put into this.

 

EEEWWW

Slug is a common name that is normally applied to any gastropod mollusc that lacks a shell, has a very reduced shell, or has a small internal shell.

IMO slugs = disgusting! Am sure you’re wondering just why I would choose to do a post on slugs of all things! Well it’s because am sick and tired of the goddamn things and am yet to understand why they were created.

I have never questioned God and I’m not about to start today but I need to see the reason for their creation otherwise I will continue to see them as the devil’s only way to make me go eek! and call for help.

The other day I wake up and there’s one just staring at me from my bedroom wall and I kid you not all the doors and windows were locked so the main question is how did the bugger gain entry.

I do not trust creatures that can walk on razor blades and not get cut. The only time am happy to see them is in the morning when they’ve been crushed by early morning motorists who unknowingly are doing the world a favor. I see a dead slug I go “the city is not a place for your kind” it’s also not a place for sheep but he still doesn’t understand.

This post has done nothing to reduce my fear of slugs but maybe now ONO will come faster when I see one in the bathroom and scream; and maybe just maybe God will accept my hundreds of prayer requests to make them extinct. Trust me slugs will take over the world not cockroaches slugs. BEWARE!

 

At this point I usually at this point insert a cute or funny pic but I can’t think of anything cute or funny at the moment :(

LOVE OVER AND OVER AGAIN

 

 

*Blowing dust off these pages* I should get a job that requires me to watch movies or read books for a living… If anyone knows of anything please holla my job gets more and more depressing.

So I understand that marriages after some time tend to turn sour and you don’t want to cuddle anymore or something as simple as the sound of your husband’s voice grates your nerves. I wonder is it love gone bad? Is it Love that drives the 2 people down the aisle or expectations?? I know what people are thinking same thing my mum always tells me; you’re young, wait till you get married you’ll understand.

So I would like to post a question after 5 years of marriage; the ups, the downs, the fights, tears, tickle fights and  countless cups of nighttime hot chocolate, if you’re given a clean slate, a do over, would you choose the same person?

My cousin Shiku who is more naive than a girl in form 2 should be, once listened to the ever popular breakfast show with that hippie Maina Kageni and when she heard people’s opinions on marriage, she is yet to understand why we want to get married or we keep telling her she should.

We are a generation that are more and more giving up on happily ever after and just looking forward to forever alone. I see folks who’ve been married for 50 years and still smile and laugh with each other the secret is in finding the right partner and loving someone for all the right reasons.

The movie “the Vow” is based on a true story about a couple who shortly after getting married get into a car accident and the wife suffers from amnesia. The chunk of her memory she has lost has to do with her husband from the time they met to when they got married. In her mind she is still stuck in College when she fell out with her family and hence has not spoken to them for 5 years.

Try as he might her husband cannot convince her that they were married let alone happily. She moves back with her family and her pushy father who never liked her husband in the first place is able to push for them to get divorced and he takes advantage of his daughter’s memory loss to get his way as concerns the direction her life will take.

I’m one of those awesome people who doesn’t tell even if am watching a movie for a second time but forgive the spoilers in this post. Long story short the couple rediscover each other and start dating and cliché as it may sound they get married again.

So y’all are thinking yeah yeah yeah!. That’s such a predictable story line but Hollywood did not create that. Its true. So I guess the question to ask yourself right now  is: would you fall inlove with your partner again given a chance? If you forget about the money, good looks and every superficial reason you might have fallen inlove with. Would you pick him again???

 

 

Fall in Love truly, madly deeply this month. Happy new month everyone.

 

TO ALL THE WOMEN

Today is international Women’s day and I celebrate being a woman. One of God’s greatest and most carefully created creatures.

Women were created special, not only did God make them especially beautiful and eye-catching, he made them incredibly strong. A woman will tell you she’s okay with tears in her eyes, she will smile and go about her stuff whilst every part of her insides feels like it is being torn apart. A woman loves and gives her heart fully and leaves absolutely nothing for herself. Nothing tops being a woman.

Women were created to nurture and give life. A woman’s strength is phenomenal.

Shakespeare said “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” and nothing rings truer than this. A woman will love with all her heart but when she is hurt she will be out for blood and you do not want to step in her path.

Today as I celebrate my strength I pray for women who are abused and made to think they are nothing, may you find your strength. For all the little girls who are being born every minute, may you come into your strength and be good torch bearers.

If you are a woman and you’re feeling unappreciated, well I appreciate you and I thank God for woman kind and all we do and all we can be if we just put our mind to it. Never let anyone make feel than what you really are and always remember you.

 

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