When I lost my dad which was like two years ago I was first in shock then denial sank in…. and for the longest time I continued to have imaginary conversations with him in my head and at times out loud.

People around me were sure I had lost it totally but we all deal with grief differently isn’t that what I heard? So every time I wanted to do something I would seek his advice or I would just talk to him about anything and he would answer… wait let me explain I would not hear his voice but deep inside me I knew exactly what he would have told me had he been alive. I cannot help think how many things I would have done differently had he been here guiding me….

I continued with this for a whole year until one night  I had a dream where he told me to just let him go and go on with my life…. It was a funny sort of dream and I remember waking up body racked with sobs heart breaking all over again and not believing that even the little I had to hold on to was now gone.

Looking back I believe this talking to him business though not healthy.. is what helped me come t terms with his death.. at times I find myself talking to him but it doesn’t hurt as much as it did at first.

Now if only I could get myself to delete his numbers from my phone……



  1. Thats very touchy my dear,..Tseems u two were very close and i believe he brought u up well if by now u know right from wrong.Everything happens for a reason,what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…You my dear are stronger than you think…n u will Realize that once u delete his number….

  2. Just finished reading this and it may have happened 8 yrs ago for me but it does still feel the same. never really come to terms with it but i have learnt to take each day as it is. but i have the best memories of him, and the one time he really punished me but i have come to realise it was all out of love. If only i knew that back then…..
    For all you that have your parent’s and loved ones, cherish them, love them. don’t hold back to say that u appreciate them and do not let outsiders come between u.

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

  • Archives

  • Twitter Updates

    • And that's how my dinner went South.. ... burnt by hot tea and short changed on my lamb kebab meal.... let me have dinner round 2 now 2 days ago
    • Seeing how I have been getting 3 hours of sleep each night I should go to bed... but no! Let me start another episode of insatiable 3 days ago
    • *hello* *hello* are you there 6 days ago
    • @joy_danu When you abandon yourself to His perfect plan things have no choice but to work #masterplanner 2 weeks ago
    • First it shines then it pours can this weather just make up its mind. I want to go swimming 2 weeks ago
  • Archives

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 25 other followers