Daddy…..

When I lost my dad which was like two years ago I was first in shock then denial sank in…. and for the longest time I continued to have imaginary conversations with him in my head and at times out loud.

People around me were sure I had lost it totally but we all deal with grief differently isn’t that what I heard? So every time I wanted to do something I would seek his advice or I would just talk to him about anything and he would answer… wait let me explain I would not hear his voice but deep inside me I knew exactly what he would have told me had he been alive. I cannot help think how many things I would have done differently had he been here guiding me….

I continued with this for a whole year until one night  I had a dream where he told me to just let him go and go on with my life…. It was a funny sort of dream and I remember waking up body racked with sobs heart breaking all over again and not believing that even the little I had to hold on to was now gone.

Looking back I believe this talking to him business though not healthy.. is what helped me come t terms with his death.. at times I find myself talking to him but it doesn’t hurt as much as it did at first.

Now if only I could get myself to delete his numbers from my phone……

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2 Comments

  1. Thats very touchy my dear,..Tseems u two were very close and i believe he brought u up well if by now u know right from wrong.Everything happens for a reason,what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…You my dear are stronger than you think…n u will Realize that once u delete his number….

  2. Just finished reading this and it may have happened 8 yrs ago for me but it does still feel the same. never really come to terms with it but i have learnt to take each day as it is. but i have the best memories of him, and the one time he really punished me but i have come to realise it was all out of love. If only i knew that back then…..
    For all you that have your parent’s and loved ones, cherish them, love them. don’t hold back to say that u appreciate them and do not let outsiders come between u.


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