I got a rather disturbing call last night.. It seems my friend who recently got married had an argument with her husband and he hit her! That’s right he hit her! What sort of man hits a woman? A woman he claims to Love? The logical thing to do is leave the man and move on right? Well she didn’t she made excuses for him and stayed on… I can almost see into her future and it’s not pretty!

How many of us know a person who is/has been abused? In-case you’re thinking how lucky you are that you don’t know such a person you might have to rethink this…. Abuse in a relationship does not just involve black eyes, broken ribs, noses or being slapped around there are so many forms of abuse such that some people are in abusive relationships and they are not even aware of it.

Verbal abuse, according to Wiki this refers to a verbal attack, when you have a fight with your partner and they respond by hurling insults that sound straight off a pirate’s handbook on language then you my dear are abused.

Emotional abuse: As kids am sure we all had instances where we were emotionally abused by friends this refers to the belittling that erodes our self-worth. Some people have a natural talent of eroding self-confidence.. A man will fall in love with a woman who is bursting with self-confidence, a woman who is on top of the world, a woman who believes in herself and knows her position in society..He then works extra hard to erode this confidence and turn the woman into an emotional wreck. Self doubt checks in and with time the female is a former shell of herself and will most probably need months maybe years of therapy to get her back to even half of what she was before.

The mother of all forms of abuse must be physical abuse… Lets be honest women maybe fighting for equality with men but….. Women and men will never be equals when it comes to the physical. So why would a man feel the need to beat on a woman and kick her like a fellow man?

Nobody ever expects to be abused whatever form of abuse it is. So how does happily ever after turn to hell on earth? Insecurity must be the main cause especially in my friend’s case where she was doing so well and her man just could not stand  it, he felt inferior and did not understand how she could earn more than he did, according to him she started being proud and he had to put her back in her place! What the Hell is that??? He even had the nerve to say he didn’t hit her hard he used a belt so as not to hurt her; and that man is serious as a heart attack.

I guess jackasses will always exist and the saddest part is that my friend is still living  with the same man and making excuses for him.. someone help  me understand how a woman will be treated so bad but still Love the person who does them wrong, forgive them and continue living like all is okay! I may never understand but I guess this is all part of the “strength of a woman”




  1. i find myself pressing refresh on ur page to see the next blog and what the message is going to be. it is sad tht till now people r still abused as u say, emotionally, verbally and even physically. it is hard to understand why people will always want to stay in such relationships (its actually both women and men as victims) but the one thing am sure is tht there will reach the time when one says enuf is enuf and as hard as it is to leave, they do leave. the best way to understand smthing is when u have gone thru it otherwise b there for the “victim” as a shoulder to cry on..

  2. Hey Kioko you’re a doll very sweet.. thanks alot I actually realize that men get abused too and be it a man or a woman its not right and they should break free but we continue to be their support system till they do so… Thanks for reading.

  3. got such a friend, she’s the bread-winner .. the abuse started after the guy lost his job, it’s even sadder coz they have a 7 yr old son watching it all. I sincerely pray she breaks free for the kiddo’s sake. she was such a strong mama and everyday I pray she sees what the r/ship is doing to her but no 😦

  4. Thats so so sad. I just can never ever keep a man who dares raise a hand to my face… or wherever!

    I simply cannot!

  5. I hope your friend leaves before the violence gets worse.

    • Me too sweetie… sadly she is yet to see the light

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