The friend factor.

So what’s your policy on friends and your boy friend? The exchange of phone numbers?How close can they be? Can they meet in your absence?

The answers to most of these questions depends on your friend and how much you trust your man. My BFF is the best and I would trust her with said person’s number but how many can say the same for their friends? On the other hand I do have friends who I wouldn’t trust to be in the same town with my man if I’m not present.

Bottom line is not every one you call a friend is genuine and she might be jealous of the relationship you have with your man. They say that we women are our own worst enemies and this may be true so it’s always good to be cautious.

So you trust your friend and she would never stab you in the back, what about your man?? Is he above reproach? How many of us can swear that our men would never cheat let alone hit on our friends?  If he shows a little too much interest in your friend, beware! What is your first reaction when a friend is hit on by your man? Do you blame the man or your friend? How did she react? Would you rather she told you or she says No and doesn’t tell you? If she chooses to tell you how do you react?

Here’s my two pence. A friend of mine met this man we’ll call him J( first initial of his real name) now J was not eye-candy.. far from it he was missing his two lower teeth and had a Maasai accent as strong as neat Viceroy, then he was black as coal (not that I have anything against dark men) anyway am sure its clear J was not my cup of tea as far as men go.. neither was he my friend’s so I always wondered what she saw in him. I later learnt that what he lacked in looks he made up for in equipment and skill!

We had very many days of double dates and road trips until I started experiencing some difficult times with my man and we went on a short break; J struck then.

phone call from J asking we meet he would like to meet and discuss my relationship with C (real initial too… creative juices for names running low) I’m a softie so when he mentioned C I ran to meet him especially because they were friends. After lunch J drops the bomb that he does not think C is right for me and his girl ‘my friend’ is not right for him either and he thinks we should hook up. I have a few words in my vocabulary that would make a sailor blush and I used them all on J.

I went home and was confronted with a tough choice to tell my friend or not to tell her. I sought advise from a friend and at some point during this time C and I got back together and he also advised me not to tell her.

After a few months and with the whole J fiasco out of my mind, I get a text early in the morning from my friend, seems someone squealed and she was texting to blame me!! Whoa!! I was being blamed! Seems my friend was of the opinion I encouraged J to hit on me, how now? I was hurt and betrayed but in retrospect maybe I should have told her but that was no reason to be blamed. We’re no longer friends with little miss Thing and much as I know where she was coming from and I should have told her about the two-faced J I do not appreciate being told I encouraged him!

We had been friends for 11 years when this went down and we no longer keep in touch but she and J broke up after he cheated, not that I was happy but as a result she gained an incredible amount of weight!

This goes out to J. The rest pardon my French!



  1. dayum!!!!!

  2. He deserves that thumb

  3. Did I say thumb? I meant finger.

    • Hahahaha I was wondering…. Thanks for reading

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