Ever want something so bad but you can’t have it? Ever dream of something for so long without it ever happening? You stomach in permanent butterflies, anticipation that never ends, constant and daily loneliness… that’s a long distance relationship.

People think its easy but oh! take a seat and let me show you just how hard it can be.

First and foremost it must be the distance from someone you Love or just like very much take your pick! When they said distance makes the heart grow fonder (or something like that) they were right (who’s they??) I digress but anyway nothing is as frustrating as knowing you’re with someone and yet not with them.

Then there’s the cold. Yeah I mean cold air, cold temperatures! At 3Am in the middle of July it pays to have someone to cuddle up to, enough said.

Ever go for a double date and you’re your own date? It’s not funny! Then there’s the rave, you go out party and it’s time to go home and you get into your cab all by your lonesome and go to fight with your own doors, then there’s the cold bed sheets (again), no one to dance with except those hippies who see you on the dance floor alone and decide to invade your personal space leaving you no room to breathe! Bringing me to another conclusion Nairobi has many vultures (make that very many)

So a friend invites you for a polite drink with the girls, you guys go and at some late hour every one is on the phone then you hear the bombs being dropped… Stan is coming, then Oh really! so Is Michael soon a group of four is now a group of nine.. arrgh!

Then there are those who with the best of intentions decide that you need not be lonely anymore; so they talk to Stan and ask him if he could hook you up with a friend and Stan knows just the guy (he always does). So when your friend cow that she is tells you of this idea, you refuse! “But why?” she whines.. for starters because I have a boyfriend and secondly any man who is friends with your boyfriend must be an idiot like him (this you add to yourself). “You don’t have a boyfriend… here” She goes on to add that how can you refuse he’s such a nice guy besides you don’t know what your boyfriend is doing wherever he is… Patiently you explain; if he’s so nice then he should not be single.

Nothing is as irritating as a friend pointing out a distant love’s infidelities real or imagined. Why would you want to cause me sleepless nights? When they decide to gang up on you you’ll think you’re sacrificing a child or something equally dastardly ( I got this word from Cartoon Network!) Anyway here’s my take;

1. If my boyfriend is cheating fine.. that doesn’t mean I have to because two wrongs don’t make a right and when breaking up the blame will be one-sided (though it never is)

2. Patience is a virtue whose rewards are very sweet! So as my friend please support me as I try to wait!

Another thing that makes long distant relationships so hard is temptations; There are so many temptations and these come when you hardly think you can resist them. you see a hot guy I mean you’re allowed to look after all you’re human and now of all times he notices you, please note if you were single he would never have noticed you, but they say a woman/man in love has a glow and that’s what yummy candy notices when they look at you! You tell them you’re in a relationship and go buy ice cream after all you have no one to keep fit for.

Mvumilivu hula mbivu ( The patient person eats the ripe fruit. Google translator rocks hard!! 🙂 ) so they day you’ve been waiting for finally comes and s/he whom you’ve been waiting for arrives. They surprise you and finally you hold the one you’ve been waiting for! It fells like heaven I imagine and your joy knows no bounds! Finally all those years of waiting are worth it.

P.S. This is a consolation post and for those who haven’t guessed already I’m in a long distance relationship which sucks big time!

P.P.S.To make up for all those soons all I want is Kitkat lots of Kitkat (savvy! Ng’ombe?)

FALD- Friends against Long distance!




  1. 🙂 hang in there babe! You are real, and yours wil work out,I know so!

  2. was in one, and its the hardest thing i know tht 2 pple can go thru. but as u said patience pays and it will. the temptations are the worst part of it all, the loneliness can be deafening, but in the end it all pays up. all the best to you..

  3. Funny post. Good read. Its nice to be encouraging but its also prudent to see the other side of coin.

    When I was 22yrs, a sappy thing that listened to boyz to men all day, i dated a chick who flew out to Ozzie. She was down there for 3yrs. We exchanged Long lovey dovey (sometimes randy) emails, we sent each other cards, on her 1st bday and every bday there i sent some pal who was living 6hrs away frm her town to deliver flowers to her (bless u Nyash). She was floored and the brownie points i earned were so many i think there are some still left in some drawer somewhere. We was in love.

    Then she came back.

    The fights started. Every week. We didnt realise it then but truth is we had both changed. She wasnt the girl who i had known 3yrs back, neither was i (Same guy not girl). We had changed but we had clung to the people we knew 3yrs back.

    We broke up.

    • I know not many long distance relationships work but all we can do is be hopeful I guess…. Besides where relationships are concerned there is never a 100% guarantee.

  4. It works out for some, it doesn’t work out for others. If you can handle it, and if you are supposed to be together, so it’s going to be. All the best babe, it’s not the easiest thing in the world.

    • Very true babes.. It’s not for the weak at heart

  5. you shrink. great article!

    • You would definitely agree… How’s it taking you?

  6. Great! Of course the whole distance aspect is a constant storm but on the other hand, it makes us stronger. I hope we’re already past the worst stage.

  7. long distance relationship is not my cup of tea…they don’t work.i don’t subscribe to the view that you can have your ugali and not eat it.

    • They can work… you told me before not to generalize.. 🙂

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