And the highest Bidder is…..

I now pronounce you man and wife.. Everyone clapped and the choir burst into song but this was a wedding with a difference as among the invited guests were a couple of men who had been presented with the opportunity to be the man standing next to the bride on the aisle.  Four gentlemen to be precise! This was Miss J’s wedding and the journey to the aisle had been quite eventful.

I met J in campus when we were just freshers, something between us clicked and we instantly became best of friends in a not gay way. Now J was not the prettiest girl on the block to put it like a friend once said she would not stop traffic but she had a mysterious look to her, she looked like she was always biting back the most delicious secret, this must have been the reason why men followed her like flies on honey. She knew men loved her and she used it to  her advantage.

She decided she wanted to get married right after we graduated, she was aware men would not always be knocking down her door. so she decided she was going to put herself up for auction! yeah that’s right; auction.  At any one time J was dating  multiple partners and her strategy was to make sure that each man was aware she was ready to settle down and she was considering other partners.

We all thought the men would scatter, but apparently Kenyan men Love competition and the thrill of the chase, a few dropped out of the running but four stuck around. Each tried to convince her they were the one for her and tried to woo her. They bought presents and took her for dinner, lunch, movies as they tried to outdo each other. J vowed to not give any her biscuits (read goodies) until they walked down the aisle that way she’d be sure she’d made a sober decision.

No one knew what she was looking for not even me and she never gave any indication of what she was looking for. She might have been the inspiration for that Bachelor Tv show the way she was carrying on.

One day she went to visit her sister and she was to stay for two weeks trying to decide who she’d go with. She never contacted any of the hopefuls and kept to herself meditating (I exaggerate; she went out everyday and partied like there was no tomorrow) she extended her visit by  a further two weeks and we all were shocked but hey! she had a tough decision to make.

Finally J came back and she dropped by my place that evening by then my mum knew of what she was doing and she had called her very many colorful names, needless to say she did not get a heroes welcome. We went to my room and before I could sit down she blurted I’m pregnant.. Luckily I was next to my bed hence had I fainted I would have had a soft landing. Who’s is it? And that’s when I knew my friend had lost it!

She went on to describe her new heart-throb and with each word I got the urge to slap her and have her committed but thanks to my strong willpower I held back and asked.. so who is it?

Shock! It was none of the men who had been on her list of suitors in fact he was a nobody! After all the work they had done and all the money they had spent they all did not get the girl instead she fell for a bum who nabbed her with sweet words! And that was it!

Women are fickle beings I have said again and again and no one can ever tell what makes a woman fall in love.. remember the woman who got married to the man full of boils no one knows why or what she saw in him but clearly she saw something.

A woman can choose what to wear for an occasion two months before the day and when it arrives she changes her mind because she doesn’t like the color.

That’s how on J’s guest list were four gentlemen who hoped she would change her mind and take them back or at least offer a 20% return on their “investment”

I’m a woman and even I don’t understand women.

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1 Comment

  1. true 😀 we redefine fickle


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