Amazing fact…. Fleas can jump 350 times their body length…

Flea should have known better than to get intoxicated at their annual Christmas party, here she was girl lives very far and she had no way to get home. Lucky for her there was a boy at work who was always real nice to her and he lived close to her place he could drop her at a convenient location and she could grab a cab. right… wrong.

So Flea relaxed and had a good time, “word of advise please do not offer your employees rice and stew at the party and expect them to handle their alcohol well” moving on swiftly she probably had too good a time.

So next day flea comes to the girls lunch with a stiff neck and a very funny tale. From her tale I decided to create a list of the mistakes that caused her stiff neck.

So apparently after her third shot she started seeing her colleague in a different light, Mistake number 1: Office romances are a no-no and if you never liked him when you were sober then do not listen to the alcohol walk away.. tall . So afterward she decided to be chips fungwad and go to his place seeing how this guy had been bragging about his skills in the bedroom so she decided to give it a go.

Mistake number 2: As they started making out in the car he bit her.. hard. It was at this point she should have changed her mind and gone home. Girls lip was hanging from the vacuum force of the kiss.

Mistake number 3: well lets just say there were a lot of mistakes that night and flea should have done as her name suggested and flown (Is this word in any way related to flee?) so lets stop counting them and just go ahead…

So Flea inspite of herself went into his house and there the down and dirty happened, the one advantage she told herself as he went down under was this man did not need a map to the down south… Until she felt it, yes she was not dreaming the man was biting her, whats worse he took her yelps of pain to be cries of pleasure so he bit even harder. she candidly informed us that she felt like she had undergone FGM and was considering legal action.

Finally when he was done with the torture it was time for the standing ovation (I am so glad my mum does not read these things) and the boy expected our girl to be a gymnast and be capable of body bending stunts hence the sprained neck and her Christmas was ruined. Just when she thought it couldn’t get any worse “slap” right on her bottom she was smacked, apparently Mr.Shanghai Acrobats assumed that all girls like to be spanked. I’m sure even those who do don’t like it so hard.

Finally after enduring all that, he was done, problem is for him it was a race to see who’d finish first and he won. (Not good 😦 ) So there was my friend Neck brace and all and she never even got to finish what he started.

She tells people Its whiplash.

 

 

 

 

 

So if you work with a girl who was the reigning champion at high jump in her school and the morning after when you woke up you found her gone without even a goodbye note, now you know why.

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3 Comments

  1. Wow. Let me just say that u write loadsa funny stuff. I think I just bumped into one more source of good-natured humour. Oh, and is this 4real??

  2. OMG!! she was FGM’d hehehe poor Flea *DEAD*

  3. Hahaha FGM that was, she should see maendeleo ya wanawake Asap! ROTFLMBAO


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