My dealbreakers….



At the risk of sounding like a broken record I will repeat this so m any times till someone actually gets it… There are three deal breakers in a relationship for me; things I will not forgive they are: Hitting, Cheating and Lieing. To be fair you can also be assured you will not be getting any of these from me.

There are little lies and big lies so the deal breakers are those big earth shattering ones like you forget to mention there’s a mini you running around looking like a younger identical twin of you then conveniently after three years you remember.. Hiyo nimekataa!

Next on this list falls cheating… I could go on and on about this lakini it’s not the topic of the day; I don’t care how drunk you are you do not undress and get on top of someone without knowing what you’re doing. There’s absolutely no one to blame but you and if you were not raped save it!

The one that takes the cake home is hitting: under no circumstances in any way will I allow a man to hit me, however in the case that one does try I will leave you so fast your head will spin. Abuse physical or emotional is one thing I will not allow.

The other day while on a coffee date with ONO I received a call from a close pal apparently her man had come home after three weeks, not talking to anyone and went straight to bed. Allow me to digress alittle and point out a few things that are unacceptable with that situation there: This man has not been home for three weeks where has he been? Next the idiot walks in with a chip on his shoulder doesn’t talk to anyone not even a single look at his children but he goes straight to a bed he did not buy and sleeps.At 2am he wakes up and tells his wife he would like to pack some things but he can’t find some of his pants. His wife points out that he may have left them at his new house; I figure polygamists have a very difficult time of finding stuff, what with multiple houses to leave them at. Upon hearing this he rains blows on her for a good 20 minutes and is stopped by the children’s cries when they hear their mother screaming.

Now I am enraged as I type out that story because as I understand it is not the first time the man is doing this. Inferiority complex be damned, this woman has supported this good for nothing man for three years as he has been holding onto the dream of becoming a hairdresser with little success, she built the house they live in, furnished it and pays all the bills and buys everything the kids need and supports the man ( incase you’re wondering he’s not younger) does all this not deserve some respect?

Oooh! there’s so much to this story but let me stop there for now so I asked myself: Ladies what does it take to leave a man? I empathize with the ladies upcountry who cannot go back home and are housewives with abusive husbands but what excuse does my well-educated, well paid friend have?

So after hours spent convincing her, she finally agreed to give the man some space and have him locked up, but this is Kenya he gives 1,000 bob and he’s out, will she go back? Will she forget?

We should forgive but never forget the lesson. I hope I did not waste my credit!



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