To be or not to be???





I have a knack for paying attention to wedding trends and like any normal girl there’s nothing I like better than looking at wedding photos I draw the line at attendance but for very special people I make an exception.

Recently  my best friend Aman (craziest girl to ever fall this side of Africa) was telling us how she got a wedding invitation from one of their junior assistants and how it’s like all of them were getting married but she couldn’t even find a decent man to shack up with for July. I know a few other women who expressed these same sentiment and when I looked at most of them I realized most of them had one thing in common; they were successful women in whatever profession they were in.

This brought back to mind a very eye-opening conversation I once had with a 41-year-old bachelor who’s still looking to marry and get two kids.

First question I asked him was why he was still single: He told me he had never found a woman he could marry, I found this very shocking considering how women fight to catch that Bridal bouquet, besides I had seen the man with different women every time we met so what was up with that. He told me that most of those women had boyfriends and some were even engaged but when they met them and he proposed bedminton with no strings attached they still accepted.

So that brings about my first point… For  a man to marry you he must respect you, also why would leave a perfectly good and decent man who’s willing to spend forever with your raggedy ass for a jerkass (I Love that man but he’s a jerkass) who wants nothing more than horizontal action, women will never cease to amaze me.

S (we had to find him a name) went on to tell me how men are afraid to date today’s woman because we’re too self-sufficient… Before I have a million enemies let me explain according to S when a man Loves a woman he would go through hell’s fires to ensure she’s happy, you meet a woman and she’s doesn’t need at all then you feel useless you’re bringing 0(zero) value to her life.

It’s not bad for women to be independent and to be able to rely on themselves but there has to be space for someone else; I remember being a very young girl going to visit my mum at work and there she was the big boss who ordered everyone around and was super efficient in her power suits but when she came home she became a wife and a mother.

Today telling a woman to be submissive is going to get you an earful so I’m not even going to try Aman is louder than all women combined but as I attend more and more of my friend’s weddings I have very many copies of Wife’s prayer by Pastor Pamela Hines. I may not be the most religious person people know but one very sad alone Valentine;s day while flipping channels I came across a Valentine special on Family TV and Pamela Hines was speaking I listened to her instead of double skipping family TV like I always did and one thing I agree with is this: Just like a body cannot have two heads neither can a household have two heads.. There has to be a head and a neck and both are equally important as the body cannot function if one is diseased or missing.


I cannot stand shrieking, squealing messes of women “Help there’s a rat in my kitchen” but to me the successful woman is one who finds a balance between the two.


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