Dear Diary,

As you know it’s a habit for me to always read when am in a matatu, first it makes the trip shorter and second it always ensures the person next to me cannot strike up a conversation.

Today for the first time I closed my book and actually listened to matatu fm (as my good friends over on twitter call it). I really could care less what goes on in that show but the topic today actually got me to care. It seems women have been withholding sex to a point where their men are giving them ultimatums.


First and foremost let me just come out and say marriage is all about compromise as far as am concerned and ultimatums have no place in the institution, however,  even I agree that one caller’s situation called for drastic action. The long and short of it: his wife has not been in the “mood” for the past two months and when he asks she just claims she doesn’t feel like.


For starters; if you haven’t gotten any from your wife for two months, she’s giving it to someone else and vice versa. Once that is said and done let me ask, how many women actually enjoy “relations” with their partners? If you’re dating somebody and he’s leaving you unsatisfied more often than he gets the job done. If you have tried all ways and means to be on the same excitement level with your partner for as long as you have been together and it’s still not working. RUN.

SEX and lets not kid ourselves is important in any relationship. We all know how I feel about sex before marriage so shoot me if you don’t agree! Somewhere along the line a misunderstanding arose and this is that men are the only ones who enjoy the “do”. Well men do not be deceived women also enjoy it probably more than you do.

Women who hold out till they get what they want should know that if they’re using sex as a bargaining tool then they’re doing it wrong. Lay it down like never before and trust me come morning the world is yours for the taking all you have to do is ask.

God created sex as a good thing to be enjoyed by both men and women and so men communicate with your partner find out what she likes tell her what you like and be open-minded. Inhibitions and insecurities should be left outside the bedroom door as the first step to any relationship working. Granted communication is key but isn’t it easier to communicate when all parties are relaxed?

There are no universal standards when it comes to “dippity doo da” except that it should feel good for all parties involved. So if either one of the parties involved is left feeling cheated then one of you or even both is doing it wrong.

Play nice this weekend 🙂





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